How to interview your relatives before the stories are gone

Start before you feel ready

Most families lose their history not to disaster but to delay. The visit that never happened, the question never asked, the recording never made. You do not need a plan, a studio, or a professional camera — you need one afternoon and someone willing to talk.

Begin with the oldest living member of your family. Their memory reaches the furthest back, and it holds names and places that exist nowhere else.

Set the room, not the interview

People remember more when they feel less watched. Sit beside them rather than across from them. Put a phone on the table recording audio and then forget it. Bring photographs — a face on a table does more to unlock a memory than any question you can write down.

Questions that open doors

• Where were you living when you were ten, and what did the house smell like?
• Who in the family did people go to when something went wrong?
• What is the first funeral you remember, and who was there?
• What did your parents argue about?
• What work did your father and mother do, and how did they learn it?
• Was there anyone the family did not talk about? Why?
• What did you carry with you when you moved, and what did you leave?
• What do you hope your grandchildren know about you?

Let silence do the work

After an answer, wait. Count to five. The second thing a person says is almost always the truer, richer one. Resist the urge to fill the gap or move to the next question on your list.

Turn the conversation into a profile

Within a day, add what you learned to that person's profile in Branches and Leaves. Put dates and places into their details, drop each story into their timeline as a milestone, and upload the photos you looked at together. Note the source — 'told by Grandma Ruth, August 2026' — so a great-grandchild knows who to believe.